Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
