If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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