This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
