she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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