Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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