You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Found the puke drawer
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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