There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
