They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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