What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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