covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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