If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
