Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
