You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
