Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize