I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
