She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
