I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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