I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
