You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
