what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize