oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize