I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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