me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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