I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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