8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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