I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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