You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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