No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
