I love black thongs
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sobbing to NWA
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
