the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
