i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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