You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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