If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize