We're facebook friends in real life
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
