Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
