I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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