Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
