Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
