Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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