Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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