Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
