It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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