New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
