I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
