If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
