She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
