I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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