i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
