I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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