do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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